


Who The Fuck Is Bella Swan?

by NeonDomino



Series: The A-Z of WolfStar AUs [17]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Flirty!Sirius, M/M, Previous James/Lily, Q for Quiz!AU, Quiz Team - The Marauders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 01:16:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6032797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonDomino/pseuds/NeonDomino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quiz!AU - To take James' mind off his recent break-up, Remus takes him to a quiz-night at a nearby gay-bar where team up with the brothers at the next table.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who The Fuck Is Bella Swan?

**Author's Note:**

> Written on Fanfiction.net on 25th November 2015 for  
> A-Z Collection - Q  
> Bad Movie Tuesday - "Doubt me all you want, but don't doubt my knowledge of young adult fiction."

* * *

"Why did I let you drag me here?" James muttered, staring into his pint of beer.

Remus said nothing, reaching for his own and taking a sip.

"I mean, it's so... quiet! Where are all the birds?"

"It's a gay-bar," Remus replied.

"Single blokes then?" His gaze moved from the drink, to Remus, fixing him with a glare.

"Me? You were the one who said you wanted to get out of the house," Remus muttered, knowing James could hear him. "You said that you didn't want to go out far, you wanted somewhere that wasn't loud. Where else was there to take you? This place is local and was advertising a quiz."

James grumbled under his breath and Remus wondered if he should have just let James sulk at home, following his break-up with Lily.

He had thought coming to a pub for a quiz was an excellent idea. Hopefully James would loosen up.

...oOo...

Remus paid no mind as he heard people settle into the next table. The place had filled up somewhat during the last hour. His attention was on the man with the tight trousers and microphone, who was in the middle of explaining about the quiz.

He was immediately put out. Teams were minimum three people, but there were only two of them there.

He jumped when someone tapped his arm and quickly spun around. His words caught in his throat as he found himself looking into grey eyes.

"Fancy joining us?" the guy began. "I mean, with the quiz..."

"Yeah, sure," Remus replied, with a quick glance at the man's companion. It was clear that the pair were related. Brothers most possibly, but Remus' gaze was drawn back to the one who had spoken.

"Great," he said. "I'm Sirius, this is my brother, Regulus. I'll tell you now, we're handy if any Astronomy questions come up."

"I'm Remus, and don't worry, I have Ancient-Rome covered," Remus replied, with an amused smile.

Regulus let out an amused snort at the comment, murmuring to Sirius who grinned. Remus assumed that Regulus knew the legend of Remus and Romulus.

"And your friend?"

"That's my mate James. He's going through a break-up and knows nothing."

"Oi," James said, suddenly alert. "I know stuff."

"About becoming a spinster with a hundred cats?" Remus teased.

"Is that why he got dumped? He's a cat person?" Regulus asked.

"Actually his girlfriend was," Remus replied, turning to the younger of the pair. "She found out that James wasn't as straight as she had thought and dumped him."

"Homoph-"

"She said she had no issues with gays, she just didn't want to marry one," James muttered. "Like I was going to propose or something."

"Why were you with her then?" Regulus asked.

Three sets of eyes moved to him, and he shrugged, unconcerned. "I mean, if you didn't see her as someone you'd marry one day, even in the distant future, why were you with her?"

"Because... I thought that maybe she would be, but it just didn't go how I thought."

"Women are too complicated," Sirius declared. "Stick to men, you won't be disappointed." He shot Remus a wink.

...oOo...

"Number Eight: what is the name of Bella Swan's father?" the man with the questions asked down the microphone.

The four men looked around at each other.

"Who the fuck is Bella Swan?" Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged. "Should we ask?"

Regulus looked over at a nearby table for a moment. "That girl said something about Twilight..."

"Is that the sparkle vampire thing?" James whispered, causing the other three to look at him.

"You've seen it?" Regulus asked, looking less than impressed.

"Lily... she made me watch it," James confessed, looking suitably ashamed of himself. "The boring girl was Bella... her dad, well, I don't remember."

"Alright - your job for the rest of the quiz, is to remember that name," Sirius said. "We've got most of the answers after all, so we have a chance of winning, but every answer helps."

"What is the name of the red-headed witch from Buffy the Vampire Slayer?" came the next question.

Remus pulled the paper over towards him, quickly writing 'Willow' in the answer box.

...oOo...

"Charlie," James finally said, pointing to number eight on the sheet. "The dad was Charlie."

Sirius snorted. "That's not it at all. I think it's Billy or something like that."

"No," James argued. "Doubt me all you want, but don't doubt my knowledge of young adult fiction."

"Care to bet on it?" Sirius asked.

James smirked. "If I'm right, I get to take your brother out to dinner..." his gaze shifted to Regulus.

"And if I win, I get Remus," Sirius said, his hand falling on Remus' knee.

"You know, you could just ask us out, instead of betting on it," Regulus said, pulling the paper towards him to fill in another answer.

"Like normal people," Remus added. "What if we didn't want the dates?"

Sirius turned his gaze away from James. "You don't want to date me?" he asked, looking hurt and sounding as though Remus had stabbed him through the heart. "And here I thought we were hitting it off perfectly!"

"I do, we are," Remus said quickly. "I mean... I... I wouldn't mind a date."

"Great, it's settled. The winner gets a date."

"Question sixteen, Paddington Bear was named after what?"

"Paddington Station," Sirius murmured, pulling the paper towards him.

...oOo...

"Don't be smug about getting the answer right, James," Sirius grumbled. "You should be ashamed that you knew it."

"Whatever!" James exclaimed. "I'm the one with a hot date on Friday." He grinned at Regulus who was at the bar, buying the next round and paying no attention to the table.

Sirius looked suitably put out, giving Remus a mournful glance. "And I'll be all alone," he said. "By myself... dateless. Lonely -"

"Well, I'm free on Friday," Remus began, getting the obvious hint.

"Brilliant, it's a double date," Sirius decided. He leaned in, planting a soft kiss to Remus' cheek. "I knew you wouldn't be able to resist me for too long!"

"The winner of the quiz, by two points is... The Rainbow Team," the man with the microphone said.

"Who came second?" James and Sirius shouted at the same time, as Regulus returned to the table.

The man shuffled the papers. "The Marauders," he replied.

"Right, next Wednesday night we need to beat that Rainbow team," Sirius fumed. "Are you both in?" He shot the pair a hopeful look.

James and Remus looked at each other. "Of course we are," Remus replied. "I just can't believe we lost by two points!"


End file.
